Wedding in Sauk Village Jerry Krull 5/1/00 r:11/17/00 
               Copyright 2000  All rights reserved.

               WALT  early 20’s

               BRENDA  19

               MA  mid 40’s 

               FRED  mid 20’s 

               SALLY  20’s

               MIKEY - 16

               Several people are eating at tables.  In the center is WALT, 
               wearing a cheap suit.  Next to him is BRENDA wearing a 
               maternity wedding dress.

               One table over is FRED and next to him is his wife SALLY.  
               Sally is all but passed out.  Fred has had a little too much 
               to drink.  Sitting near Fred is MA who is loud, crass and 
               liquored-up.  MIKEY is off to the opposite side.

               Walt stands up and speaks to the guests.

                                     WALT
                         Can I have everyone's attention? I 
                         want to thank Brenda's mother for 
                         paying for the dinner and fixing up 
                         the backyard.  The tikki torches 
                         look great.

                                     BRENDA
                         The tailgate of the blue pickup has 
                         the appetizers, and the beef and 
                         chicken and stuff are on the trunk 
                         of the green Barracuda on blocks.

                                     WALT
                         Which is for sale.  Now I'd like to 
                         make a toast to my new bride Brenda.  
                         You know a lot of people never thought 
                         we would ever see this day.

                                     MA
                         Got that right!

                                     WALT
                         Hush Ma, you were wrong.  Brenda, I 
                         toast to our life together.  I love 
                         you sweetheart and not just because 
                         you’re knocked up.

               Applause by the guests as Walt bends down and kisses Brenda.

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                                                                         2.


                                     WALT (CONT'D)
                         Fred, as my brother and best man, do 
                         you wanna say something?

                                     FRED
                         (drunk) Hell, I guess you want some 
                         sappy speech.  Let’s see… I think 6 
                         months ago you two met, right?  I 
                         remember Walt telling me he was 
                         hungry…

                                     BRENDA
                         (loving tone to Walt) You pulled up 
                         in your cherry ’78 Cutlass and ordered 
                         a Whopper and a Coke.  I asked if 
                         you wanted fries with that, and you 
                         said, ‘no, your fries suck man’.

                                     WALT
                         I asked what time you got off.

                                     BRENDA
                         And I said, ‘anytime with you babe’.

                                     MA
                         For God’s sake we all know you two 
                         did it right there in the parking 
                         lot and got pregnant.

                                     BRENDA
                         Well it was always my dream to wear 
                         my Momma’s wedding dress for my 
                         wedding.  Sorry my being 6 months 
                         pregnant ruined that Momma.  But I 
                         want to thank my new Mother-in-law 
                         for lending me hers.

                                     MA
                         I got a lot of use out of that dress.

                                     WALT
                         Shut your mouth Ma!

                                     FRED
                         Hey I thought it was my time to talk!  
                         Walt you’re always making me look 
                         like a fool. You suck man!

               Fred gets up and stands a few feet away from Walt facing 
               him.

                                     WALT
                         You're not gonna ruin my wedding!

                                     FRED
                         Just like you didn't ruin mine.

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                                                                         3.


                                     WALT
                         What did I do at your wedding?

                                     FRED
                         You knew Sally slept with that male 
                         stripper the night before I got 
                         married, but you let me marry the 
                         bitch anyway. (To Sally)  Sorry Sally.

                                     WALT
                         Yeah Fred, but I never told Sally 
                         how you invited the stripper from 
                         your bachelor party to your wedding.

                                     FRED
                         Dammit Walt why’d you open your mouth?  
                         That’s it!

               Fred pulls a knife and keeps it in front of him like he may 
               jab at Walt.  He lunges at Walt several times but misses 
               badly.

                                     MA
                         Just once I want to have a wedding 
                         without a family knife fight!

                                     WALT
                         Shut the Hell up Ma!! Fred put that 
                         thing away.  You're drunk.

                                     FRED
                         (mocking tone)  Ohhh, poor baby.  
                         Freddie ruining your fancy little 
                         wedding?

                                     BRENDA
                         Don’t you ruin Walt’s good suit.  
                         That one has to be dry-cleaned.

               Mikey jumps in and stands between Fred and Walt.

                                     MIKEY
                         You wanna kill someone Fred?  Kill 
                         me.

                                     FRED
                         Get out of here little brother. This 
                         is between me and Walt.

                                     MIKEY
                         C'mon Fred kill me!  Walt didn't 
                         screw up your marriage.  You picked 
                         a slut. (To Sally) Sorry Sally.

                                     WALT
                         Mikey get away.  You don’t need to 
                         be involved.

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                                                                         4.


                                     MIKEY
                         Oh easy for you to say.  ‘Mikey 
                         doesn’t belong!'  At least you and 
                         Fred know your real daddy.  Everyone 
                         knows I'm a bastard.  No-one can 
                         tell me who my real dad is.  Not 
                         even Ma.

                                     MA
                         Kill the little bastard!

                                     WALT
                         (Breaks a bottle and gestures towards 
                         Ma.)  Quiet woman or I will put this 
                         bottle in your belly!

                                     FRED
                         Hell Ma, I ain't killin' no-one.  
                         We're family.  Even Mikey here… I 
                         think.  Walt, I guess I just got 
                         jealous that you have it all.  Fancy 
                         double-wide trailer, kick-ass car, 
                         union job, and now a hot wife. (To 
                         Sally) Sorry Sally. (Brenda has fallen 
                         on all fours and wretches on their 
                         feet.)

                                     SALLY
                         (drunk) I knew I shoulda married 
                         outside the family!

               END

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