Wedding in Sauk Village Jerry Krull 5/1/00 r:11/17/00
Copyright 2000 All rights reserved.
WALT early 20’s
BRENDA 19
MA mid 40’s
FRED mid 20’s
SALLY 20’s
MIKEY - 16
Several people are eating at tables. In the center is WALT,
wearing a cheap suit. Next to him is BRENDA wearing a
maternity wedding dress.
One table over is FRED and next to him is his wife SALLY.
Sally is all but passed out. Fred has had a little too much
to drink. Sitting near Fred is MA who is loud, crass and
liquored-up. MIKEY is off to the opposite side.
Walt stands up and speaks to the guests.
WALT
Can I have everyone's attention? I
want to thank Brenda's mother for
paying for the dinner and fixing up
the backyard. The tikki torches
look great.
BRENDA
The tailgate of the blue pickup has
the appetizers, and the beef and
chicken and stuff are on the trunk
of the green Barracuda on blocks.
WALT
Which is for sale. Now I'd like to
make a toast to my new bride Brenda.
You know a lot of people never thought
we would ever see this day.
MA
Got that right!
WALT
Hush Ma, you were wrong. Brenda, I
toast to our life together. I love
you sweetheart and not just because
you’re knocked up.
Applause by the guests as Walt bends down and kisses Brenda.
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2.
WALT (CONT'D)
Fred, as my brother and best man, do
you wanna say something?
FRED
(drunk) Hell, I guess you want some
sappy speech. Let’s see… I think 6
months ago you two met, right? I
remember Walt telling me he was
hungry…
BRENDA
(loving tone to Walt) You pulled up
in your cherry ’78 Cutlass and ordered
a Whopper and a Coke. I asked if
you wanted fries with that, and you
said, ‘no, your fries suck man’.
WALT
I asked what time you got off.
BRENDA
And I said, ‘anytime with you babe’.
MA
For God’s sake we all know you two
did it right there in the parking
lot and got pregnant.
BRENDA
Well it was always my dream to wear
my Momma’s wedding dress for my
wedding. Sorry my being 6 months
pregnant ruined that Momma. But I
want to thank my new Mother-in-law
for lending me hers.
MA
I got a lot of use out of that dress.
WALT
Shut your mouth Ma!
FRED
Hey I thought it was my time to talk!
Walt you’re always making me look
like a fool. You suck man!
Fred gets up and stands a few feet away from Walt facing
him.
WALT
You're not gonna ruin my wedding!
FRED
Just like you didn't ruin mine.
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3.
WALT
What did I do at your wedding?
FRED
You knew Sally slept with that male
stripper the night before I got
married, but you let me marry the
bitch anyway. (To Sally) Sorry Sally.
WALT
Yeah Fred, but I never told Sally
how you invited the stripper from
your bachelor party to your wedding.
FRED
Dammit Walt why’d you open your mouth?
That’s it!
Fred pulls a knife and keeps it in front of him like he may
jab at Walt. He lunges at Walt several times but misses
badly.
MA
Just once I want to have a wedding
without a family knife fight!
WALT
Shut the Hell up Ma!! Fred put that
thing away. You're drunk.
FRED
(mocking tone) Ohhh, poor baby.
Freddie ruining your fancy little
wedding?
BRENDA
Don’t you ruin Walt’s good suit.
That one has to be dry-cleaned.
Mikey jumps in and stands between Fred and Walt.
MIKEY
You wanna kill someone Fred? Kill
me.
FRED
Get out of here little brother. This
is between me and Walt.
MIKEY
C'mon Fred kill me! Walt didn't
screw up your marriage. You picked
a slut. (To Sally) Sorry Sally.
WALT
Mikey get away. You don’t need to
be involved.
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4.
MIKEY
Oh easy for you to say. ‘Mikey
doesn’t belong!' At least you and
Fred know your real daddy. Everyone
knows I'm a bastard. No-one can
tell me who my real dad is. Not
even Ma.
MA
Kill the little bastard!
WALT
(Breaks a bottle and gestures towards
Ma.) Quiet woman or I will put this
bottle in your belly!
FRED
Hell Ma, I ain't killin' no-one.
We're family. Even Mikey here… I
think. Walt, I guess I just got
jealous that you have it all. Fancy
double-wide trailer, kick-ass car,
union job, and now a hot wife. (To
Sally) Sorry Sally. (Brenda has fallen
on all fours and wretches on their
feet.)
SALLY
(drunk) I knew I shoulda married
outside the family!
END